Yoooohooo! Remember me?
The wedding process is simultaneously fun and irritating. Read more below.
We have gone together to two different reception halls to tour the facilities, gather information, and see what they have to offer. Also, in the course of it all there have been lots of hen meetings (relax, it's a joke), ring show-off sessions, and numerous Qs and As about our plans.
Each time, without exception, 95% (or more) of the eye contact and looks go to Her, as if I am not there. Now I know these things happen to ladies, espescially when buying cars or electronics or whatever. I also know how much this pisses them/you off. Understandably so. I myself take a page out of my Dad's book. When we would shop for a car for my step-mom and the salesman would only talk to or look at my dad, he would tell the salesman (in a not so polite tone) that he was talking to the wrong person and that SHE was the one he had to please. I decided long ago that if someone did that to me I would tell them, again, in not so pleasant a tone, that the person was talking to the wrong person and that I was the Her attorney here to close the deal. It's bullshit that people get treated like that and it makes me uncomfortable no matter what side of it I am on. I expect better from people. I espescially expect better from women who get that treatment more than men. Alas, here I am... experiencing it firsthand (from both sexes).
So people. Not all grooms-to-be are absentee or indifferent to it all. Last -I- checked it was my wedding too. Last -I- checked this is my only marriage too. So put away the gender profiling and assumptions that she (or She) will get whatever she wants and the groom has no say or opinion because he (I) does. Please acknowledge my existence. Please acknowledge that I care. Please acknowledge that I have a say in it all. Because I do. It really is ok to look at me and look me in the eye; I swear I don't bite. Or you might see me walk away. And I won't be nice about it.
posted by MD at
9:46 AM
8 Comments:
You know, I really noticed this from "Eric". He seemed to talk to me only and then handed you the contract to read over. Hmmm.
I am proud to say that anyone could ask you about the details of the wedding, and you would give the same exact answer that I would. I think that's pretty cool.
The chick from the Wyndham was just as bad. They always look between you and your parents if they are there. If it is just the two of us, it is almost entirely to you. Dicks.
I have to say that T&I made every big decision together. He was at almost all the meetings with our vendors and we both made a point to make sure that this was OUR marriage, not just mine! T picked out the cake and his flowers and the only reason I would "take the lead" on alot of things is because I plan events for a living, so when we got into the detailed questions I asked b/c he is not detailed orientated and he will be the first to tell you that. It is sad that this industry puts SO much emphasise on the bride and NOT the actual marriage :( That is why I will never be a wedding planner. M & I were talking - it isn't the Brides day it is your day TOGETHER!
On the P.S.....
This happened to me this weekend when we went to get furniture. The guy came up and went right to T and shook his hand and NEVER introduced himself to me. If we didn't like the furniture so much I would have left. Little did this guy know that I take care of all the bills and have the credit line for financing (just teasing). He finally came around to me and realized that WE are buying this together, however he should have done that from the beginning.
C. was all about being part of the wedding planning process.
He was all about registering, too.
We fought about our flatware.
That sucks M. Andrew was all about our wedding too. We did everything together - just the two of us - and had a blast.
I can't wait to see your wedding dreams turned into reality:)
Same here, Ryan especially had fun with the registering. Somehow we ended up with a telescope???
I too hold the wallet in this relationship and I have walked out of a business once or twice for sexist pigs. We were fortunate to have the best caterer for our wedding and she was all about both of us understanding everything. Enjoy these moments, I miss being a newlywed and I really wish I could re-live our wedding day. Good Luck!
sorry, Md. For a second I thought I was leaving a comment on M blog:) EMBARRASSING! Ryan is my husband and I hail from the booming metropolis of Rossford. M is a fantastic lady, good Luck with the wedding!
HA! No sweat! Pretty funny though.
Question. Does Ryan know you hold the wallet? Or should that surprise him. Hehehe.
As for us, neither of us hold the wallet. Or both of us do. Depends on how you look at it I guess.
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