Please Explain Something to Me
I need some perspective from the ladies out there. A phenomenon that has only recently really come to my attention. Rather, I am a little more sensitive to it these days. The art of Man-hating. Why do you think it occurs, and why don't men women-hate (at least in the same fashion)?
There is a real gender difference on this subject. When men get together to talk, assuming they actually talk about something other than sports, and the topic of women or a woman comes up, it does not get to woman-hating. More times than not it is conversation directed to a particular person. X is a slut. Y is a controlling biatch. Z is just a sad soul lost in her own misery. Sometimes the topics turn to wives/girlfriends and particular problems or instances that they are having. Rarely, if ever, does the topic turn to women as a whole. When and if it does it is usually to make some off the wall stereotypical comment for a laugh.
However recently, I have noticed alot of ranting on blogs, talk shows, and in my life from women about men as a whole. And I would classify most of it as man-hating. And it irritates me. If womyn man-hate it seems to be empowering and a sign of girl-power. You don't need us and all that jazz. If men do it they are misogynistic pigs. I understand that the opposite sex can be frustrating. I understand wanting to vent about a spouse or whatever. But how is that empowering? What is right for one gender and SOOOO wrong for another? One can only hang their hat for so long on the "past wrongs" crap. I'm sorry for what someone did 75 years ago, hell 25 or 50 years ago, but that isn't me and I didn't do it. So let it go.
I guess I really started noticing when I was dismissed (not by you honey) in relation to wedding plans. "Just go watch sports", they say. "What do you care, you're a guy", I hear. "What do you know about colors and style?", they ask. Plenty thanks. But you wouldn't know, would you? Because I am dismissed off hand. And no, wedding planning is not the only time this happens.
You've heard of reverse racism (which absolutely exists)? Well I'm hear to tell you about reverse sexism.
There is a real gender difference on this subject. When men get together to talk, assuming they actually talk about something other than sports, and the topic of women or a woman comes up, it does not get to woman-hating. More times than not it is conversation directed to a particular person. X is a slut. Y is a controlling biatch. Z is just a sad soul lost in her own misery. Sometimes the topics turn to wives/girlfriends and particular problems or instances that they are having. Rarely, if ever, does the topic turn to women as a whole. When and if it does it is usually to make some off the wall stereotypical comment for a laugh.
However recently, I have noticed alot of ranting on blogs, talk shows, and in my life from women about men as a whole. And I would classify most of it as man-hating. And it irritates me. If womyn man-hate it seems to be empowering and a sign of girl-power. You don't need us and all that jazz. If men do it they are misogynistic pigs. I understand that the opposite sex can be frustrating. I understand wanting to vent about a spouse or whatever. But how is that empowering? What is right for one gender and SOOOO wrong for another? One can only hang their hat for so long on the "past wrongs" crap. I'm sorry for what someone did 75 years ago, hell 25 or 50 years ago, but that isn't me and I didn't do it. So let it go.
I guess I really started noticing when I was dismissed (not by you honey) in relation to wedding plans. "Just go watch sports", they say. "What do you care, you're a guy", I hear. "What do you know about colors and style?", they ask. Plenty thanks. But you wouldn't know, would you? Because I am dismissed off hand. And no, wedding planning is not the only time this happens.
You've heard of reverse racism (which absolutely exists)? Well I'm hear to tell you about reverse sexism.
posted by MD at
11:02 AM
4 Comments:
(as a woman), i agree that man-hating is actually pretty annoying. i notice man-hating (enter blanket statement) mostly when a woman has been mistreated once or many times by 1 man or several men, and they are frustrated, etc.
like anything in life, i think we all need to look at ourselves. it's easy to man-hate, blame, etc. - but it's hard to say "i'm the common factor here".
once people can get a grip on their hurt (some never do - continuous cycle of man-hate), then they would hopefully be able to recognize that they can move on - that all men aren't total idiots and jerks, etc.
women don't really look all that mature or responsible when they man-hate. there's no need to man-hate if you have some control of your own life and the people that come in and out of it - and how they treat you.
MY 25 CENTS!!
Malissa I like your 25 cents. Indeed a look at the cause and not the results is in order. It is in most instances I would wager.
And I am glad to hear at least one female perspective that recognizes it as well.
Thank you!
I agree with Malissa 100%. Usually man haters are women who have had bad experiences with men and tend to then classify ALL men. It is only "empowering" to the women who do it because they most likely have lower self-esteem and it makes them feel better to blame others (like M. said).
I just get pissed at all these ignorant people because any kind of hating is just ridiculous. It is all BS!
As for wedding planning - that sucks. I truly hate that men are dismissed so quickly from the wedding planning b/c it is considered a "girl thing". It is both your wedding. I don't know if I would consider it intential man-hating but I see your valid point.
it is easier for people to "hate" and bash rather than admit that they actualy feel silly, stupid, embarassed or hurt. anger is just a mask for other emotions that are harder to come to grips with, let alone admit to other people.
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