(Shhhhh, Don't Tell)

Now that my wife has broken the story of our vacation plans, we now have to come up with a cover story to fool the masses.

In reality, we are not going to the Caymans to layout, shop at Caymanian stores, hang out with turtles, go to Hell (and back), swim up to a bar with GREAT regularity, relax away from work, celebrate our one-year anniversary, snorkel, play with stingrays, sit around and make fun of the people stopping in the Caymans from some shittastic cruise ship, or make like the newly wedded rabbits. Oooooh no my friends. We are going to the Caymans to open an account with one of those fantastic Caymanian banks those of us in the smuggling biz call "safe houses".

What do we smuggle, you ask? Project Runway design knockoffs built on an empire of tiny-handed sweat shops strategically located across the world. What an empire my wife has built.

Confucius say:

It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

Excitement Parade

Pretty sure I have not been this excited to see a movie since the second and third LOTR movies came out. I'm a nerd, I know. This is well established and my wife gave informed consent before marrying me.

*Photo courtesy of comingsoon.net

And They Shall Call Her.....

Therese Marian D.

Tess for short.

This just in:

IT'S A GIRL!

The little dumpling was born at 9:24 tonight (well last night technically... the 15th).

7 lbs.

20 inches long

No name yet.....

I was right on the sex and never guessed the date. The wife said boy and the 18th. Just yesterday I was teasing my sis-in-law that she needed to get the heathen out of her. My suggestion was to eat spicy food while having sex during a walk around the neighborhood. Apparently she took my advice!

Confucius say:

War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

Having Kids

Reason #1 I cannot wait to have kids:

The idea of raising, teaching, and coddling a mini-me or mini-her seems too perfect. It's like I get a "do over" with my own life. I can live through them and their successes where I did not/could not have them.

Reason #1 I can wait to have kids:

I like sleep.

Confucius say:

Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.

Would you rather....

A) Wait until the last minute to get something done?

B) Do a little bit at a time until it is done?

C) Do as much as possible up front/get it done early and coast come deadline time?