Gay Marriage
Let's get a little serious here. A little political. Ooooooh, scary stuff, I know. Let's talk gay marriage. As you all know by now, California's Supreme Court recently ruled that gay marriages are legal. What do you think? Good thing or bad thing?
My thoughts, as succinctly as I can possibly muster:
1) Like abortion, this affects so damn few people that it sickens me the disproportionate amount of attention it gets from the media, activists, Bible thumpers, etc. What is the percentage of the American public that is homosexual? Ten percent? How many are of age to get married? How many WANT to get married? We are talking single digits here people. Is it really worth all the attention? Methinks not.
2) There are two very pragmatic reasons to get married. One or both may apply to you. You get married for religious reasons or for tax reasons (I awkwardly lump health benefits into this category). This is strictly a utilitarian view that ignores the love, companionship, and friendship sort of reasons. Speaking from a very black and white legal sort of way there are two: taxes and relgion. Well we all know *cough* there is a separation of church and state, right? So as far as the government is concerned, religious reasoning should not enter into the equation. What does that leave? Tax implications. That is no reason at all to prevent two committed, loving people from enjoying the legal and societal reprecusions of marriage, good and bad.
3) The sanctity of marriage argument. Oh, this is a doozy. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Everyone clearly respects the committments, promises, and vows they make. The selflessness and work associated with marriage. Til death do us part. In good times and bad. In sickness and in health. That means the world to me. To 50%+ of the married folk, it does not. How sanctimonious. For Christ's sake, people get married by a damn Elvis in Vegas. In Lord of the Rings themed ceremonies. By a damn judge in the local courthouse. THIS is the sanctity of marriage? A $99.99 "special" that includes a crappy bouquet, 10 complimentary pictures, and a witness that is on the staff? Really? THESE marriages are ok and perfectly legal and acceptable, but a gay marriage is not? Shove the sanctity argument, I say. Either these mockeries of marriage are made illegal, or all marriages between two people of ANY sex are legal. You just cannot have it both ways.
And with the removal of myself from the soapbox de tolerance, you may now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.
My thoughts, as succinctly as I can possibly muster:
1) Like abortion, this affects so damn few people that it sickens me the disproportionate amount of attention it gets from the media, activists, Bible thumpers, etc. What is the percentage of the American public that is homosexual? Ten percent? How many are of age to get married? How many WANT to get married? We are talking single digits here people. Is it really worth all the attention? Methinks not.
2) There are two very pragmatic reasons to get married. One or both may apply to you. You get married for religious reasons or for tax reasons (I awkwardly lump health benefits into this category). This is strictly a utilitarian view that ignores the love, companionship, and friendship sort of reasons. Speaking from a very black and white legal sort of way there are two: taxes and relgion. Well we all know *cough* there is a separation of church and state, right? So as far as the government is concerned, religious reasoning should not enter into the equation. What does that leave? Tax implications. That is no reason at all to prevent two committed, loving people from enjoying the legal and societal reprecusions of marriage, good and bad.
3) The sanctity of marriage argument. Oh, this is a doozy. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce. Everyone clearly respects the committments, promises, and vows they make. The selflessness and work associated with marriage. Til death do us part. In good times and bad. In sickness and in health. That means the world to me. To 50%+ of the married folk, it does not. How sanctimonious. For Christ's sake, people get married by a damn Elvis in Vegas. In Lord of the Rings themed ceremonies. By a damn judge in the local courthouse. THIS is the sanctity of marriage? A $99.99 "special" that includes a crappy bouquet, 10 complimentary pictures, and a witness that is on the staff? Really? THESE marriages are ok and perfectly legal and acceptable, but a gay marriage is not? Shove the sanctity argument, I say. Either these mockeries of marriage are made illegal, or all marriages between two people of ANY sex are legal. You just cannot have it both ways.
And with the removal of myself from the soapbox de tolerance, you may now return to your regularly scheduled blogging.
posted by MD at
11:39 AM
3 Comments:
I think you said this PERFECTLY. And I couldn't agree more.
I once got in a fairly fiesty arguement about this (before I was married) and this one guy kept up the arguement about health insurance. I kept saying to him, "you and I could get married tomorrow, just so I could be put on your health plan...so what's the difference?" He either ignored me or didn't get it or whatever...
I know two men, in a relationship with each other, who have been together, exclusively, for more than 20 years. They have not ever thought (vocally, to their friends) about getting married, but if they ever did want to, I want them to be able to. They are two of the most amazing and wonderful people I know, and they deserve every single thing that I deserve.
Let's call man and woman's legal relationship, "marriage" and woman and woman/man and man's, "a union" (or something else.)
Perhaps that'll make it more palatable for the naysayers.
i totally agree with your comments.
Though this is still important, especially for the individuals who want to get married and can not, I don't think this is the biggest issue facing our country at the moment. The gov./politicians use issues like this (as people have such strong opinions for/against it) to turn people's heads away from the really issues we should be worring about. That pisses me off. Does it really matter if a women marry's another women - no, I don't think so.
I also think your #3 is very important. People do not take getting married seriously anymore. They get married b/c it is cool and they want a wedding, or maybe because they think it will be fun to have a husband/wife, or health insurance, or b/c they really want a baby or whatever. So many people don't want to put in the time and effort it takes to make a marriage work. It is much easier to get a divorce and start over rather than to put in the work. It shouldn't matter what sex you are marrying.
"Either these mockeries of marriage are made illegal, or all marriages between two people of ANY sex are legal. You just cannot have it both ways." So true
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